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Surviving the Teen Age Years

Tips for Parents of Teens.
PTA Council Information & Tips for Parents of Teens. To print these tips, click on the format of your choice.

1. - Teen Parties and Sleepovers. word format, pdf format
2. - Dangers of Teen Drinking. word format, pdf format
3. - Teen Privacy and Parenting. word format, pdf format
4. - Safe Teen Driving Tips word format, pdf format
5. - Make A Safety Plan. word format, pdf format
6. - 16 Tips for Busy Parents  word format
7. - Legal Consequences   word format
8. - Behavior Effects Community word format
9. - Communicating with Teens word format
10. - Safe over Summer Break  word format

To print these tips, click above, on the format of your choice.

1. Teen Parties and Sleepovers

When Your Teen is Giving A Party or Sleepover

• Plan in advance.
  Talk over party plans with your teenager and know the guest list. This way you can curb the “open party” situation. No guest list, no party.
• Agree to rules ahead of time. These might include:
  No tobacco, alcohol or other drugs PERIOD
  No leaving the party and then returning
  No gate crashers allowed.
  Lights are to be left on.
  Some rooms in your house are off limits.
• Make it clear that anyone violating the rules will have to leave.
• Set a time limit.
  Set a start and ending time – not too long. Consider daytime parties as an option.
• Invite another parent, relative or couple over. Other adults are company for you and can help with any problems.
• Know your responsibilities.
  IT IS ILLEGAL to serve alcohol to minors. You may be held responsible for teens who drink at your home, or accidents that occur afterwards as a result of underage drinking at your home.

When Your Teen is Going to a Party or Sleepover

• Call the host. Check for parental supervision and that no alcohol will be allowed.
• Be aware. Know where your teen is going and with whom. If you don’t know th host parents, introduce yourself and get their address.
• Make it easy for your teenager to leave that party.
  Tell your teenager if there is drinking and (s)he needs to leave the party to call you for a ride home.
  Urge your teen to NEVER ride with anyone who has been drinking.
  Have an understanding that there will be no punishment for a call letting you know things are getting out of hand.
  Always praise your teen for asking for help out of a dangerous situation.
• Be up an greet your teenager when (s)he comes home.

Source: Howard County Health Department, Bureau of Substance Abuse Services, Prevention Division

2. - Dangers of Teen Drinking.

Teens don't just drink. They drink to excess.

More than 10 percent of eighth graders, 22 percent of sophomores, and 26 percent of seniors report recent binge drinking (5+ drinks on the same occasion).

Statistics show that the majority of current teen drinkers got drunk in the previous month. That includes 54 percent of the high school sophomores who drink and 65 percent of the high school seniors who drink.

Underage drinking is linked to injury and risky behavior.

Reducing underage drinking can reduce drinking-related harm.

Brain Development and Alcohol Abuse

• Research indicates that the human brain continues to develop into a person's early 20's, and that exposure of the developing brain to alcohol may have long-lasting effects on intellectual capabilities and may increase the likelihood of alcohol addiction.

Drinking and Driving

• Car crashes are the leading cause of death among people ages 15 to 20. About 1,900 people under 21 die every year from car crashes involving underage drinking.

Suicide

• Alcohol use interacts with conditions like depression and stress, and contributes to an estimated 300 teen suicides a year.

Sexual Behavior

• Higher drinking levels increase the likelihood of sexual activity.
• Adolescents who drink are more likely to engage in risky sexual activities, like having sex with someone they don't know or failing to use birth control.

Academic Performance

• A government study published in 2007 shows a relationship between binge drinking and grades. Approximately two-thirds of students with “mostly A’s” are non-drinkers, while nearly half of the students with “mostly D’s and F’s” report binge drinking. It is not clear, however, whether academic failure leads to drinking, or vice versa.

Don't serve alcohol to teens.
It's unsafe. It's illegal. It's irresponsible.

Source:  We Don't Serve Teens     http://www.DontServeTeens.gov.

3. - Teen Privacy and Parenting.

It's a fine line between respecting your teen's privacy and doing your job as a parent.
How far should you go?  As far as you have to.  Because teenagers today have a minefield of risky behaviors to navigate - drugs, drinking, tobacco, sex, with powerful influences like peer pressure and mixed messages from pop culture and new technologies such as the internet.

Fortunately there's one influence in your teenager's life that trumps them all.  You. So take action. Let them know just where you stand on risk-taking and consequences.  Set clear rules with your teen for safety and guidance.  That's right, getting them to agree to the rules and understand the consequences gives them more responsibility every teen wants.

And yes, do keep close tabs on your teen.  Know where they are and who they are with.  Cell phones make it easier than ever just to “check in”. It's not saying you don't trust your teen, it's saying you care.  Get on the internet, too. Familiarize yourself with the kind of content they might be exposed to.

Above all else, one of the most powerful things you can do for your teenager is to set a good example when it comes to drug, tobacco and alcohol use.  Respect them, be honest with them and they'll do the same.  Everyone wins.

Source:  PARENTS. The Anti-Drug. http://www.theantidrug.com/

4. Safe Drinking Tips

You’re not only a parent.  You’re a safety feature.
Nothing kills more teenagers than car crashes. Research shows which behaviors contribute to teen-related crashes. Inexperience and immaturity combined with speed, drinking and driving, not wearing seat belts, distracted driving (cell phone use, loud music, other teen passengers, etc.), drowsy driving, nighttime driving, and other drug use aggravate this problem. Luckily many get help from an important safety feature – parents!!  Your influence matters.

What You Can Do As A Parent of a Teen

1. Set a Good Example
   Your teen will copy your driving habits. If you don’t obey traffic laws, buckle up, keep your cool in traffic, drive speed limits, or stay off the cell phone behind the wheel, they won’t either.
2. Be a Teacher
   Teach your teen about driving and the technology behind it. Point out what to look for – traffic signs, bad drivers, emergencies, and more, as you drive with them.
3. Supervise Practice Driving
   Give your teen as much supervised practice as possible on different roads, in different weather, and in all kinds of driving conditions – even after your teen receives a license.
4. Monitor and Restrict
   Parents who control driving privileges – when, how often, and under what conditions – have safer teen drivers. Studies show that teens are less likely to take risks if schoolwork and grades are monitored, ground rules are established, and parental relationships with friends are good. On the other hand, teens with lenient parental driving restrictions are more likely to have more traffic violations and crashes.
5. Use a Parent-Teen Driving Agreement
   A formal agreement between you and your teen should cover all driving rules and agreements, plus the consequences for breaking those rules. (Crossroads – The Maryland Parent-Teen Driving Agreement is available on the Maryland MVA website.)
6. Reduce Risks
   Understand the possible risks that may tempt your young driver. Driving with other teen passengers, driving at night, driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, speeding, and being inattentive are all dangerous actions that should be avoided.
7. Think Safety First
   Consider purchasing a new or used vehicle with good safety features – side impact as well as dashboard and steering wheel air bags, automatic door locks, and anti-lock braking system, traction control devices, and other technological improvements.
8. Don’t Rush It
   Parents often rush the licensing process for their teens to free up their own time – and to encourage their teens to run errands for them. Remember – inexperience is the number one contributing factor to unsafe and potentially hazardous driving situations.

The best person to teach your teen how to become a safe, responsible driver is you. Your wisdom, your guidance, and your continued involvement will not only make a big difference, it could save lives. Get Involved. Stay Involved.
Source:  Maryland Motor Vehicle Administration    http://mva.state.md.us

5. Make A Safety Plan

Teens don't always make the best choices...
                                    make a safety plan with your teen.

No matter what we do to protect our teens from drugs and alcohol, all teens get into tough spots once in a while. That's when a good safety plan comes into play.
Imagine you're a teen and you've just done something really dumb like get drunk at a friend's house. Who are the last people on earth you'd want to find out? Your parents, right? You'd be in so much trouble if they did.
A safety plan gets your teen past that fear by letting him know that you care more about him than about what he does. Even if you think he already knows how you feel, spell it out for him. Then lay out your plan. Here's one way to do it:

"Nothing in the world is more important to me than keeping you healthy and safe. That's one reason I don't want you to drink or do drugs. But if you ever find yourself in a bad situation — like, you get drunk at a party, or the person who's supposed to drive you home does — I want you to call me. I don't care what time it is. I'll come to pick you up and I won't ask any questions until the next day. Will you promise to do that for me?"

Source: A Parent's Guide To The Teen Brain   http://www.drugfree.org/teenbrain/tools

6.  16 Tips for Busy Parents To Help Raise Healthy & Safe Teens

1.      Make it clear that it is NOT OK with you for your teen to experiment with alcohol, tobacco or other drugs. Set clear and consistent “no use” rules. Share the facts and the consequences of use.

2.      Have daily conversations with your teen. Use every day opportunities such as watching TV together, to start a dialogue about topics like drinking, drug use and sex. Discuss different ways to resist peer pressure to smoke, drink or use other drugs.

3.      Eat meals together with your children and talk – as often as possible – without the TV on.

4.      Set a positive tone, avoid judgments and accusatory language. Listen, discuss, ask questions. Focus on the positive:  instead of criticizing, praise special talents and nurture interests.

5.      Wake your child up in the morning and make sure they get to school.

6.      Know where your child is after school and on weekends. Check that they are where they said they would be. Beware of sleepovers – teens will migrate to homes where they have the most freedom and the least supervision.

7.      Make sure an adult is home when your teen goes to a friend’s house after school. When your teen is invited to a party, call the home and speak to the parents or adult chaperones. Make sure they will be there and that no alcohol will be served (call, no matter how much your teen hates you to do it.)

8.      Keep unsupervised time to a minimum. Get your teen involved in supervised, positive group activities. Encourage other adults to be involved in your teen’s life as well.

9.      Monitor teen media (music, videogames, websites like Facebook & MySpace, TV and texting.)  Keep the computer in a common area in the house.

10.  Establish rules about the people your teen can be with. Get to know your teen’s friends and their families. Ask questions. Don’t be afraid to say “NO.” Your teen is not your friend. He/She is your child.

11.  Set firm rules, clear limits and consequences to breaking them. If you establish a consequence or punishment for misbehavior, stick to it. Don’t allow your teen talk you out of it.

12.  Warn your teen never to drive or get into a car with a driver who has been drinking, smoking marijuana or using other drugs.

13.  Keep track of and lock up unused prescription pain medications (eg. Percocet, Oxycodon) in your home.  Monitor ADHD medications (eg. Adderall, Ritalin.) Teens are abusing these medications to get high.

14.  Do fun things together, not just homework, chores and errands. Help your teen deal with stress. Involve your teen in a weekly family, social or religious activity.  Talk with your teen about their hopes and dreams for their future.

15.  Set a good example by demonstrating the values and healthy lifestyle you want for your teen. Avoid coming home after a stressful day and saying in earshot of your teen, “I had a bad day – I really need a drink” (and then drinking beer, wine or hard liquor.)

16.  Talk to other parents and professionals who work with teens. Visit websites - eg. www.theantidrug.com, www.drugfree.org and www.timetotalk.org.  Attend programs for parents and read educational materials about teen drinking and drug abuse. 

Parents are the most powerful influence on teens when it comes to drinking and drug use.

Not friends. Not school. Parents. You.

7. Maryland Alcohol Laws Legal Consequences for Teens and 

      Parents

Underage Laws

• If you are under 21, it is illegal to drive or attempt to drive a motor vehicle with 0.02 percent or more blood alcohol level (that's less than one drink!). If you do…you may be fined $500 and your license may be suspended for one year.
• If you are under 21 and are found to be in possession of alcohol, are in a car with alcohol or are where alcohol is served...you may receive a civil citation, your parents will be notified (if you are under age 18) or you will have to go to court (age 18-20), and you may be fined up to $500 for a first offense and $1,000 for a second offense.  You may also be required to do community service.
• If you present a false I.D. or an I.D. that is not your own to purchase alcoholic beverages or to gain entry to an establishment where alcohol is sold, you may receive a civil citation and face a $500 or $1,000 fine.  You may also receive a traffic summons for possession of or displaying a false or altered driver's license, and have to obtain legal representation and appear in court.  If you are found guilty, you can be jailed for up to 2 months and/or fined up to $500.  You can also receive 12 points on your driver's license…(and 12 points = YOU LOSE YOUR LICENSE)
• If you possess alcohol on school grounds, your driving privilege may be suspended for thirty to ninety days.

Adult Laws

• It is illegal for adults to allow underage drinking on property which they own or lease.
• If an adult is found guilty of obtaining alcohol for a minor or furnishing alcohol to a minor, the adult is subject to a fine of up to $500 for a first offense.
• If an adult is convicted of contributing to the delinquency of a minor (a criminal charge), the adult could be fined up to $2,500 and sentenced to up to three years in jail. The minor need not be convicted or found delinquent for the adult to be held responsible.
• Selling, issuing, or offering for sale blank or incorrect age identification cards can result in a $2,000 fine and up to two years in jail for each card sold.
• Possessing a beer keg without a registration affixed, removing the registration form, or permitting an individual under 21 to consume the contents of a keg can result in a $500 fine for a first offense.
• Remember, if you are an adult, you are responsible for making a safe environment for the young people in your charge.

Source:  Howard County Department of Police, Office of the Chief, Liquor Inspector  www.HCPD.ORG You're the parent. Be responsible. Keep your child and their friends safe.

8. 

Project Safe and After Prom
PTA Council of Howard County
410-740-5153
ptachc@gmail.com